Thoughts on Yom Kippur

The very first thing that appeared on my phone's internet's welcoming page thingy yesterday was the astounding and upsetting news that 162 new species of snakes were discovered. 162 new species! For anyone who knows me, snakes are my thing. The thing that makes me want to cry in a corner and curl up in a nice smelling warm blanket. I have to be honest here, folks, the fact that the new snakes appeared on Yom Kippur, and that I've been spending all my waking moments reading the bible for martyrdom class, my first thought was NEW snakes! omg. this must = the end of the world as we know it. and i feel fine. I went on about my day...did laundry, ate a $9 make your own salad at Ray's Pizza on St. Marks, then went to the Reform Services that NYU was having. They were much better than I originally expected. I remember two years ago when I went to the reform Rosh Hashana serivce, that there was a certain disconnect. I wanted so badly to feel something. Some kind of meaningful; transendential (sp?) experience that only sounds bullshit when other people say it but is actually really amazing and beautiful when you're lucky enough to get one yourself. I'm not saying that's what happened last night. But, I was able to connect, to just be in the service in the moment, in the day, even if it was only for a few moments. Afterwards I got to hang out with some friends for a bit, then went home, facebook stalked and reveled in this little momentary bit of peace I was feeling.

Yom Kippur is about asking for forgiveness. Being able to give forgiveness. Admitting your sins, repenting, and praying to be put in the Book of Life for the following year. To experience happiness and joy and peace. Last night I found out that someone I had known just died of a heroin overdose. I didn't know him that well. We'd only hung out a few times, but he was one of those people that made you feel connected to him even if you only knew him briefly. There is nothing I can say to bring peace to his family, or to his close friends, but I included a poem (posted below) that was posted on his facebook wall a few days after he died. I think it expresses my feelings in a way that I never could:

"You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you dies each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintry light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen. When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring, it was as though a young person had died for no reason."- Ernest Hemingway

RIP Matt. And to all those lost this year. May their loved ones who remain find some kind of peace as well. To an easy and meaningful fast everyone. And a sweet, good, New Year.