Really? I mean, really?

Dear Roommate (who shall not be named)--
I am hiding from you in my room. Mostly because your voice gives me a panic attack. But also because you came blasting into the apt screaming about who borrowed your monkey umbrella and broke it. Because it belonged to so and so and you were going to ship it back to so and so.

Mostly my umbrella was stolen on halloween and you said i could feel free to use any in the container by the door. Also, the umbrella was already broken, as I found out when I opened it in the rain. Also, the rain/wind broke it further. Also, it was exceedingly cheap as it broke so quickly. Also, I am not leaving my room for the rest of the night so you don't get a chance to yell in my face. Because that's really mean.

Also, I'm buying a new umbrella tom. From CVS. Because you frighten me on a deep deep level.

Love,
me

how now brown cow

Sitting at computer. 2 hours. Reading texts from last night. Listening to Pandora. Help me. MUST. WRITE. PAPER. Must get off ass.

It's chilly today, which makes me not want to make the 30 min hike to campus. Problem? no campus no meal plan no meal plan no foodfood. Must shower/write 8 page paper. Can't seem to careeeeee.

Need a little inspiration in the form of attractive people carrying large platters of food. Especially cupcakes.

Have not seen any of my roommates in physical form since yesterday morning. Only heard voices. This is nice. Although it does make it more difficult for me to have convos with real life peeps, because i'm not so used to speaking anymore.

as soon as i make the decision to get off my ass, roommate will be in the bathroom. such is my life.

i need a cupcake. or self respect. or self restraint. or someone to write this stupid paper for me. stupidstupidstupid paper.

Today I watched the VIEW

All right. I know. I've been an absent poster as of late. it's almost like being an absent father. except worse. My lady parts are hurting today (too much info?), and I am avoiding writing my 8 page profile paper. It was originally supposed to be an interview until my interviewee blew me off. My prof was like, oh, he blew you off. And I was like "yes, like an 8th grade boy. badly." then prof laughed. more out of discomfort than amusement i should think. now i need to write an 8 pg profile of a man who is the epitome of all the little boys i hate.

i still love my cog neuro prof. and i'm meeting with her again next week! mostly because i need her help to write a research proposal. she does not know this. and i don't really think this is her job. plus she's really hot and intense and that makes me uncomfortable when i'm around her. but she's also really smart and therefore i shall suffer in discomfort!

i'm moving out of my apt in may! i am supes excited about this because my roommates hate me and i'm not completely convinced that they won't kill me in my sleep. that's why i appreciate lofty. my loft bed. because i get advanced warning (ladder climbing) of murderers and rapists.

i am still in love with theewhohasgirlfriendandiwanttomakesweetsweetlovetowhodoesn'treciprocate. girlfriend is still girlfriend. i am not. but I WILL WIN AT SOME POINT.

there is a crazy mo' fo' who makes weirdly insulting comments about jews, pregnant women, women, and others in one of my classes. i want to keep him from talking. like put my fist in his mouth and watch him gasp for breath and then laugh because he can't speak and because i don't have to listen to him speak and that would make me really happy, not as happy as cog neuro prof or "girlfriend" no longer being "girlfriend" but i am willing to accept smaller things first.

i am drinking diet sunkist.

passover is next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm a sad lady that i'm not home. maybe i should drink...that'd fix it!

SOS

Dear hot cog neuro prof,
You exam was hard. Very hard. And I studied. lots. Only for your test, in fact. None for my others (which i will now fail as well). This is why the whole, "your exam being extraordinarily hard" thing made me such a sad lady. I'm now drinking a diet coke, purchased for me by the lovely M, which is making me feel slightly better. And I talked to my friend who was very upset and helped me persepectivize my current drama. I now have to study for my balagan ( shit show) of the rest of the week. I also have 3 very large pimples. Which, are also depressing me currently. The loml (love of my life) is still happy with the gf and planning on being a cog neuro prof as well. You should be proud. I ate a falafal today, and am planning for pudding on thurs. Because, I can. I still like you, prof. But I am a sad sad lady. --j

Midterms, Baked Goods, and inappropriate YouTubing

Midterms begin tom! And I have to do well on my cog neuro exam. Mostly because I'm in love with my prof. But also because I have strong amorous feelings towards someone who is now getting their PhD in the same subject. And when i commented to say congrats on facebook, because, i mean, i'm a creeper, I was the ONLY asshole who refused to comment on the status. And chose to do a wall post instead. Because I like to think I'm special. Really, I'm just as asshole. Although to be fair, I tend to think there are more assholes in this world so I wouldn't be the only one. For instance my life is filled with people who think I don't deserve as much attention as a dog. a dead dog.

This is a link someone sent to me in order to combat the midterm bluesies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA
I find it incredibly entertaining. Albeit, against my will. Watch it!

So, 2 Wednesdays ago...I know I've sucked at blogging recently--Every thing was slightly strange. Question boy in statistics wasn't there to ask any questions--teacher was not making sense---weird asians were weird and made the teacher uncomfortable--and annoying girl in cog neuro rec't was all flirty with cog neuro t.a. Which is ridic because A) She's totes a lesbian and B) I'm the only one allowed to have inappropriate feelings towards cog neuro personnel.

Also, my back's starting to hurt which is my body's lovely way of saying "stop eating so many baked goods. fat ass." And that makes me sad a little. And then I take excessive amounts of pain killers so it stops hurting, and wash them down with banana pudding.

I want to send good vibes out this week--so that the positivity police will protect me and make good things happen! Mostly this means I need to avoid my roommate. And eat a lot of baked goods. And watch Spartacus: Blood and Sand online tonight to prep for tom. Mostly because there's a lot of blood (on the sand) and naked hot men. And naked hot xena:warrior princess. Actually I don't think xena's naked. I think I'm projecting on that.

I called a neurologist to ask if i could interview with him. He didn't have an emaill listed on his web page. What? Seriously? I was born in 89, I'm too fucking socially awkward to make a phone call! He hasn't called me back. It's ok. I'm being positive this week. And eating baked goods.

Happy midterms everyone! Except you, girl who flirts with cog neuro t.a. That's not okay with me. I'm judging you.