I like my mattress FIRM. that's what he said.

Today weather in NY = Monsoon. Which is why, for the first time eva', I took the subway to campus. And remembered why I never take the subway to campus. Because I'm a raging, c***y, control freak who stands on the yellow rough patch next to the tracks and stares at her cell phone for the entire 10 min that she awaits the F train. Did I just switch to 3rd person. Then some, over make-upped bizotch gets all freaked out when I make eyecontact with her overly make-upped face. Then, the announcer voice is all blahblah (i seriously hope they're not warning of a terrorist attack) blahblah, "Overfilled cars are NOT an excuse for inappropriate sexual touching." For serious?!? Then what is? I look over at freaked, inpatient girl to commiserate and she gives me this look that's all "do NOT inappropriately touch me!" She could read my mind!

Then I got out at the wrong part of the station and got soaked walking 7 minutes in the rain. Major sad face. MAJORRRR.

Then this girl at the salad bar in kimmel took 5 million years at the salad bar. I almost bar jumped her. Or stabbed her. OR both. Or neither. Mostly both.

ION channel's back!

Boiled squash, baked bar-b-que chips, chick peas, and depraved indifference. LOVE.

p.s. I'm having inappropriate thoughts about authority figures in my life. Oh, dear.

Oh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

PROBLEM. The ION channel (aka that amazing channel on which i torture my roommates by making them watch endless weekday night hours of the depravity known as Criminal Minds) is GONE. As is no longer in existence. As in replaced by some half-assed Spanish channel. At first, it was Spanish scene with Criminal Minds speak. Now, it's Spanish scene with silence. Soon, it could be Spanish on Spanish (in Spanish?). Help me. Someone. Some one out there in the nether world ether of cyber space MUST be able to save me!

My roommates don't care. One said so. She hated the show anyways. She's probs closet happy not that its gonezies. Oh, Criminal Minds, where art thou?!?

Side note--we now receive TNT. Which would be nice, if my mind hadn't become completely unaccustomed and unable to process scripted cable shows other than Criminal Minds, Law and Order and NCIS. Oh, Criminal Minds!

p.s. I just saw a movie called "Mishima" about art/beauty/destruction/blood. I wish there was more blood. When I was a kid, I did the finger prick/smear/blood brothers thing. I told my fellow viewers about that during the movie. I don't think they understood. Also, I might of mentioned that the warrior headresses reminded me of sushi guys. There was an Asian in the room. One of only 3 other people watching it. I felt ashamed.

CRIMINAL MINDS--COME BACKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Damn you stoned neighbors, damn you and your unnecessary fuck ups!

Oh puppy, I could just eat your face!

I just found out that the reason I hear strange noises, and feel frigid cold in my beddy room is because my window has been open. Constantly. For the past 3 months. FML.

I also realized, that I am exceptionally white, and wearing a large pale blue parka only serves to enhance the "special" way in which my lower east side neighbors view me.

Also, there ARE straight men at NYU. I SAW ONE. I knew he was straight cause he was macking on a lady! And he looked like he enjoyed it! But, for reals, there are, at max, 12 straight boys at the lovely NYU establishment.

Also, I think I REALLY like commas.

Also, one of my downstairs neighbors makes bomb-diggity dinners which I am a-smelling and I am soooooooooo jel.

Also, walking for 3o min in the wind/rain/snow/cold is NOT okay. Be nice to me weather, I am a lady, after all.

Moving on...UP? (Questioning the Jeffersons...)

So, first a quick word about queens. it's AWESOME. especially jamaica. mostly because i got to see 50 (pronounced fitty) cent's house (the one where he got shot.) Which totes up's my coolness/street cred factor by like, a kagillion. p.s. I did NOT go to Astoria. aka: rich kids pretending they're cool enough to live in Queens. Aka: NYU kids. Aka Astoria = NYU in Queens.

2nd. I went to the tree lighting ceremony. Didn't get to see the tree actually get lit, because I'm a 2 yr old and got bored. However, I managed to flirt the po-pos into letting me cut the line, and upon 20 minutes of arrival wound up in exactly the same place as the couple who'd be there for 3 hours. AND it was raihainy. (rainy).

3rd: Things I've learned this week. Just because you want something, does not mean you can get it. The same goes if the something is a someone with a girlfriend, prettier, smarter, and all around more awesome-er than you are. This does not mean, however, that you are not awesome! No, no. Rather you are just not AS awesome as the awesome-est, awesomnator that said person is already with. And I am learning to accept this. Mostly because I think if I do, the universe will give me something else in return. For instance, I was sad, then I won $52! Thanks, universe! So, here it goes. I officially relinquish. I officially give up on you. Although you don't actually read this blog, so you won't know this, the sentiment remains the same.

So, dear universe, I shall await your kind, kind, reward for my relinquishment. While watching Dr. Phil, I shall wait. Eating banana pudding, I shall wait. Lusting over Matlock, I shall wait.

But for now, dear universe, I shall do my finals, eat chocolate, and await my future reaping of GREATNESS!