Chickpeas in Paradise

If my entire life is laid out in the stages of grief (as seen in Grey's Anatomy), I believe that I currently reside in the stage called acceptance. I accept that I am that girl who believes she should quickly down the half full PBR currently in her fridge, because having it spilled is more of a travesty than being that girl who pre-games for coffee with her friend. At Aroma. Which is the most fabulous Israeli Starbucks eva', except for the devastating fact that half a sandwich costs more than my last abortion. I jest. It doesn't cost THAT much.

Last night, I ventured out on this mode of transportation called the "subway" in order to reach the upper west side: or, as I like to call it: Columbia students, Jews, and women who run with jogging strollers full of yoga mats, granola, and nalgenes. I can say this only half-mockingly, because I myself eat granola, and use a nalgene. Yoga, alas, is too far out of my body's reach. I also eat chickpeas. Just chickpeas for multiple meals a day, but I'm not sure if that makes me a hipster or just desperately poor. Anyhoo...the subway was a blast! Between construction, weekend hours and late-night hours I spent more time waiting for the train than I would have if I just walked the distance. First I had to find the A train. Which there were NO signs for because the A train was running on the F track. I wait 20 min for a train. It's an F. Damn my luck. I wait another 15 for an A. Take the A one stop, then find out that because of construction I have to get off. Which I do. And take the F. (perhaps the one I didn't take at my first stop?) Then I take the F one step, then transfer to the 1. Whoo. Was I getting tired!

There was this one girl sitting across from me who didn't understand the concept of eye make-up or something, because she put too much on in an area where it was un-needed and looked perpetually frightened. When we passed one stop, her make-uped eyes grew large and sooo full of fright I nearly yelled out on her behalf. Stop! Dear train, stop! This overly frightened woman needs medical attention! I'm not sure if she was generally worried and the make-up just drew attention to it, or if it was all due to her make-up that she looked like she just shit her pants every time we passed a stop, or someone sat down next to her, or I breathed too loudly.

Speaking of train antics. Remember that Law and Order: SVU where that guy in the subway "rubs up against" / rapes all those women? So, I was sooo convinced that creepazoid numero 4 was going to do that to me last night. He had the perfect angle, and had been STARING me down on the platform. And all I could think was, you do it, I will DROP you. Punk. (I generally use the word punk when I'm feeling all badass...) There was also couple with dog who was crawling around, child who did a pole dance, Asian teen who was voguing, large man with facial hair in a fdora (spelling??) this guy who announced to the car that he was laid off and his wife and child needed money for food. Which was a lot more compelling before he came back and did the same speech with different ages for the children and different hometown. Also, it rained. I ate Italian food, discussed obsessive tendencies with my love, was blown off by mutual aquaintances who had no idea who I was when I ran into them on the street, and (after spending over 2 hours getting home/not going to bed until 3 am) didn't awaken this morning until almost 2 pm! Then I did laundry because I only had one clean pair of panties, ate chickpeas, and am now preparing to go to temple! Raise a glass to Yom Kippur everyone. To an easy fast, and repentance: international edition.