Is this what's called posterity?

So, this time last year, I awoke in a pool of my own vomit and liquified self-esteem. Granted, it was my own vomit, in my own bed, so I felt like I gained some major dignity points there. I quickly got up, ran into the shower, gathered my clothes, jammies, sheets, comforter, and mattess pad, and rushed down to the basement washer/dryer. There in all my hung-over glory I ran into some guy I kinda, sorta, knew, and while averting my eyes the entire time managed a brief, "hey...whats's up?" Score! I thought to myself. He shall never know! The rest of the day was filled with drunky nap time, the cancellation of a China Town lunch date, awkward encounters with my roomie's fam, during which I tried to explain, without fully opening my eyes, that I was "sick." And ended with a realization that still vomiting a full 24 hours after alcohol consumption had ceased might be a sign of danger to my future well being. This all started the night before at my friend's 19th birthday party. Last night was her 20th, and I did not go. Not because, as you may rightly assume, I was ashamed of the shit show that had taken place last year, but rather because my lovely partner in crime was hold-up in the mid-west with her Israeli boyfriend and I am too socially awkward to attend things alone...

So, last night, as I lay curled in the fetal position in my delightful lower east side loft bed, bored and alone, I was forced to do what any girl (sans cable, and friends) would do in such a situation. BROOD. So I brooded. I brooded about how in spite of my hopes that I had somehow grown during the past year, I was still the same girl. The girl who tells someone they "like them" over facebook chat the day before they flee the country for 6 months. The girl who is then somehow SHOCKED that said person is in a facebook relationship 9 months later. In which they are just soooo happy that they spend hours on end at work making paper clips into heart shaped paperclips. And that's just GREAT. Happiness is just GREAT. I haven't seen said person in over a year, we were barely friends, and yet I am just soo shocked that they don't think about me. Ever. While lying on lofty at 6:47 pm (having only arisen at noon) I noticed a slight crease in the comforter that was shrouding my body, that made a sort of heart shape in the distance. You, I thought to myself. Need to get a life.

So, life it is. Goals it is. I have begun to work on my life goals (nanny and sugar daddy). So far my major nanny obstacle is a resume (which would seemingly highlight my lack of experience and marketable skills). As for sugar daddy, I am still trying to find the most legit website for my search...

12:03: Still in my jammies. If I can manage to shave my legs today, I will have enough pride to last me all week.