Trains, Planes, and all the rest!

I wish I could say I was busy spending time with the love of my life, which is why I have not blogged lately. But unfortunately, no. I am just a lazy asshole. Plus, I totes would've bragged about the hang out, so I mean, that def didn't happen. I WENT TO QUEENS. AS IN JAMAICA. AS IN NOT ASTORIA, AKA NYU IN QUEENS! And I will totes blog about that as well, only first, there is a much more pressing matter to attend to: bus etiquette.

So, I went to Hartford for ye ol' thanksgiving day, and I was astounded--astounded I tell you! by the shitty bus etiquette that I encountered. I didn't use to be so bus sensitivo, no. It all started on a 14 hr bus ride from Cote di'voire (I never could spell that right...) to, the notorious, Accra. It was nighttime, dark, people were just the sleepiest, and we'd been watching a continuous marathon of Nigerian films. My favorite being, "I have a dream, to marry a richhhhhh woman. She will make me powerful, she will make me rich!" (I'm not sure if that's the title, but that WAS a popular refrain in the main song. Suddenly, another kind of movie came on: RAMBO! omg. It was like America was calling me and telling me everything was going to be okay! But no, because one lady decided that she didn't want to see RAMBO. So, instead she turned music on her cell phone and blasted it. I mean, really. And no-one said anything to her! No one even looked at her! And I'm all, is this even really happening?!? WTF. Then I start to make really loud, passive aggressivo remarks about her rude-ness. (Because I can't say anything, because I'm white. And I would be that obnoxious white girl.) But no one says anything! Like 5 hours/20 min later: someone finally speaks to her. She FINALLY shuts off the music--and the driver shuts off Rambo and puts on another Nigerian film! Oh, you win, lady, you win.

This, is why, when two peeps behind me on the way back from Hartford started listening to music minus headphones, I nearly stabbed myself. In the aorta. (holla, Angelina Jolie in Girl Interrupted!)

For convenice sake, I shall make a list of unacceptable bus behavior:
1) NO LISTENING TO MUSIC W/OUT HEADPHONES.
2) IF NO ONE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE BUS IS SPEAKING, DO NOT HAVE A 2 HOUR CONVO WITH YOUR NEIGHBOR.
3) IF YOU ARE A T.A--IT IS NOT OKAY TO GRADE COMPLEX TESTS ON THE BUS, AT NIGHT, WHEN YOU HAVE TO SQUINT TO MAKE OUT THE WORDS IN THE DULL OVERHEAD GLOW. WE WORK HARD. GRADE US IN PROPER LIGHTING, PLEASE.
4) IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, DO NOT SIT NEXT TO ME.
5) DO NOT CUT THE BUS LINE.
6) DO NOT EAT FOOD THAT SMELLS BAD/GOOD.
7) DO NOT HAVE PROLONGED CELL PHONE CONVOS.
8) DO NOT CURSE MORE THAN 12 TIMES IN 1 MIN. THERE ARE CHILDREN ON BOARD.
9) DO NOT SIT NEXT TO ME.

When I finally reached the terminal, and began searching for the subway, these 2 undercover port authority cops called me over and asked how old I was. When I said 20, they looked unbelieving and demanded I.D. One cop then states that I look really young and they thought I was a teenage runaway/homeless while the other begins to write down ALL of my personal license info on a small green card. In order to distract me from this unnecessary invasion of privacy, cop number one begins asking me about my major/career plans/response to cold weather/why I didn't go home to FL for Thanksgiving. I mean, really. If a mysterious package shows up at my house in the SRQ (aka, sarasota, FL) WE WILL ALL KNOW WHO TO BLAME.