Today marks the 2 month anniversary of my blog and I. (and me?) and us. For us? Oh, who knows...Speaking of relationships, I just spent the last hour reading a research study about unrequited love. I want nothing more than to curl up in the fetal position with lofty, and my obese cat, Moo. Unfortunately she's too large to climb onto lofty, and all of the lights are out in my room so I am sitting in le dark, which would presumably make it harder for me to smuggle/snuggle Moo up the ladder. The dark is ideal though, for the massive amounts of self-loathing induced by reading about unrequited love. Turns out: I'm just undesirable; delusional; selfish; and CRAAAZAY. Thanks, Baumeister, et al, thanks bunches.
Today I went to Whole Foods. Twice. Ate both my meals there, in fact. The first time, I got a salad bar---and did some HEAVY pre-purchase nibbling in line and by the bar where I was severely eye-contact chastized by some random socially well-adjusted blonde lady. I then proceeded to eat even more while simultaneously wiping my nose on my jean-jacket sleeve. (Classy, true?) I even filled a salad dressing cup with squash soup and poured it onto my salad so I could have soup & salad without paying for the soup! I felt like an a**hole until I came back in the eve for some squash soup (which I had been craving ALL week) and cornbread, and saw some bizotch boho chica down at least 4 dressing containers filled with soup. I mean, even I have more diginity than that. And I mean, come on...
I was morbidly distressed to discover that the squash soup was gone! I got red pepper instead (taking mammouth sips out of the container so I could refill it again and again--even burning my mouth in order to get one over on the man!) I then added cheese and crunchy soy things to my soup, closed the lid, watched the excess oooooze over, wiped my nose on my sleeve, grabbed the 2nd cheapest cornbread slice, and peaced in time to see Desperate Housewives. Phew! Long Day.
My afternoon was filled with walks, an inordinate amount of unsanitary samples at the Tompkins Sq Green Market...holla Tompkins!...and a self-check-out machine at a grocery store with which I had a prolonged conversation regarding my transaction. (One 2-liter diet sunkist that I drank in its entirety that very afternoon.)
So, for now, I will wish you adieu. Night all. Be Good. Stay clean. Vote for universal healthcare. And LOVE Rachel Maddow, as yourself.
BTW: Though it's intense, long-winded and yadda yadda...I'll attach the link to the Unrequited Love study...reading the first 3-4 pages is sufficient to understanding the study itself, as well as the tragedy of unrequited love. Only accessible through ze NYU login, sorry non-NYU'ers. And until next time, dear readers...
http://ezproxy.library.nyu.edu:16705/journals/psp/64/3/377.pdf
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