Romance in the Air

Dear balloon boy,
I wish you really were up in that balloon. That would have been really cool. And I would have liked you lots and wanted to have your babies. I know you're only 6, balloon boy, but in 14 years, you'll be 20, and I'll be 34, and then it won't be so awkward at dinner parties. RACHEL MADDOW MSNBC. Balloon boy, I can be a bit obsessive, I'll admit, and sometimes I talk to myself and stare catatonically at other people in order to make them feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I hear my neighbors screaming, "F*** you!" overandover and wonder if they're about to shoot someone. Sometimes I see men palming knives who ask me for a quarter and I jump and run away quickly. Sometimes I think I'm liberal, and then I realize that in NY I lean a bit more conservative. Sometimes I just want a Whole Foods salad for dinner. Sometimes/ all the time I wake up in the morning and count how many hours until I can go back to sleep. Oh, balloon boy, if you had really been up in that balloon, you would have been the kind of man I could spend the rest of my life with. Oh, balloon boy, I know you're a child, I'm being hypothetical not pedophilical. I have 2 more weeks of midterms, balloon boy, enough work to last me a lifetime, an unrequited inappropriate crush to keep me entertained and enough self-loathing to lift a large, misshapen balloon, balloon boy. So good night to you, dear balloon boy, and to you, Rachel Maddow of MSNBC...may your life always be full of hot air.

Love,
J