A day for Odes.

An ode to slow walkers:
Oh, slow walkers on the NYC street.
When I see you, I want to punch the back of your head.
That would be a real treat!
Without my morning Starbucks brew,
I'm not sure if there'd be retraint.
You're just lucky I have dining dollars to buy Starbucks coffee,
Or I'd beat you until you faint.

An Ode to Bernie Madoff:
Why, oh why, did the person running the scholarship I was going to apply for have to invest with you and lose all their money and cancel the scholarhsip and deprive me of my chance to be slightly less in the quicksand of insurmountable death, debt and sadness?

An ode to myself:
You are a crazy bizotch.
The end.

P.S. Vik Keenan. My ex-NYU advisor. If you ever read this: where did they send you? Are you still alive? Can we be (facebook) friends now? I miss you. I sometimes form unhealthy attachments to people. I REALLY miss you.

P.P.S. I eHow('ed) "how to get over a crush." One of the first suggestions I got was to go on a date. I then eHow('ed). "how to find a date." I have a feeling it's going to be a long semester...