Inappropriately attached to Taylor Swift.

Jaclyn needs sleep like a hoe needs leopard stilhettos. And yet, she cannot, because she just got home. Her cell phone is dead, the cell phone + charger won't make it up onto lofty. And no phone means no alarm, means no getting up in 6 hours. Sad. So I figured I'd write a short, delightfully self-indulgent blog post while I wait, and watch my hours of precious sleep slowly ticking by...

So, this girl in the Starbucks line yesterday in full on glam gear, skirt, nice shirt, nice coat, done-up hair and make-up--standing behind me in my 10 day old jeans (by which I mean, worn 10 days without being washed) and sneaks was on her cell phone. Telling her friend quote, (I know I just need the symbol, but the word increases the flow...) "So, I'm wearing flats today. I know, they're cute and black, but I just feel so un-feminine." It was 9 in the morning. Cue rage.

The other day there was a very hot man in Silver in a slightly douchey chef shirt with an accent who asked me where the bathroom was. Not very romantic, perhaps, but it made my day. Mostly because I pretended he asked me where it was because he wanted to f*** me senseless in it. Aw, sweet daydreams of 20 year olds.

When sketch looking men walk alone at night closely behind me with only one arm shoved deep inside a puffy coat, I think he is palming a knife/gun and is planning on robbing/raping/r-murdering me. I don't appreciate this. I nearly got hitted by a car running away from said sketcher.

I know this goes against everything I ever learned in health class, but some people REALLY ARE hotter when they're smoking. :) LOVE

SLOW WALKERS. IM NOT KIDDING. I WILL BEAT YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES.

I DON'T BELIEVE IN GLOBAL WARMING. I MEAN, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE.

I DO BELIEVE IN BANANA PUDDING. I THINK I NEED TO STOP EATING SO MUCH OF IT THOUGH, AS DAIRY MAKES MY PARASITE RIDDEN BODY WANT TO VOMIT. EXCESSIVELY. YES, THERE IS A DISTINCTION OF EXCESSIVELY VOMITING. I'VE LEARNED.