Dog peed on floor. What to do. What to do. Not cleaning it up. Don't want to step in it. Dog pee. Dog pee.
Old woman. In theatre. Wearing giant white fur hat. Patron behind her, "Could you please remove the hat?" It was giant. As in an entire animal. Man with furry woman. "That is NOT going to happen." Actors enter. Women's friend screams, "I can't see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hugh Dancy is on stage, ma'am. Woman leaves to find usher. NEVER comes back. Was she kicked out? Is furry lady a theatre goddess? who knows. Disappeared woman's friend squirms and sighs for the entire first act.
Intermission:
Usher, "Ma'am, can you please remove the hat?" Chatter chatter chatter. Lady claims she never heard request to remove from the ladies behind her. LIESLIES. Women screams, "He said 'That's not gonna happen!!!!!!!'" Usher, "Please. No yelling." I felt her pain. The entire audience was united however, against this unfortunate couple. And that felt nice. Act 2. Woman was returned. Hat was removed.
END SCENE.
p.s. usher was british. so, ma'am is probs an incorrect translation of what she originally intended to say.
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