Before I CUT a bitch

Dear reader, do you remember that girl who bitched to her friend on the phone about how un-feminine she felt not wearing high heels? I do, dear reader. Mostly, because I see her lots at Starbucks and she's always a bizotch. Today, I saw her on the street on the way TO starbucks. And, dear reader, all I could think was, she looks 40. I'm serious. The amount of make-up she had caking the pores of her face aged her 20 years. I mean she's not unattractive. But the make-up and fake blonde highlighted hair reminded me of a friend('s mother). By which I mean she looked OLD. She cut me off in line, dear reader. And bitched to her friend about something muy pedestrian, of this I am sure. I think I win though. Mostly because the cops think I'm a teen runaway.

Today in my extraordinarily unhelpful stats recitation, my T.A. was saying something (she always is) and, per usual, I was reading a New York Times article online. This is mostly because I can't follow her lectures. There are even worksheets. To guide us. We go number by number and i have NO IDEA WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. (and, YES. she actually speaks English!)

Okay, there is some loud ass noise coming into my window. It's 11pm and I need to be up in 8 hours. For an exam. I will CUT a bitch. what the fuck is that?!?!

Anyhoo, during pointlessness, my stomach started to rumble. Not cute, quiet rumble. 20 min loud ass, someone get this girl a f***ing poptart kinda rumble. Interesting, dear reader, f***ing and poptart both came up as misspelled. But "kinda" did not. Is that a word now? So, there i was stomach rumbling like an ass...I grabbed myself around the middle in an attempt to quash said sound, to NO avail, I might add. Oh, well. At least it provided a bit of entertainment.

Dear reader, there ARE straight men in NY! They congregate in coffee shops that charge too much and have wifi. One such place just opened near me. They serve H&H bagels. It's called Atlas. I shall now go there more often. With mascara. And desperation.

Love,
me
p.s. noise best stop before i CUT a bitch.