In the heat of the moment, I can Curse like a Sailor!

At the age of 20, I've been forcibly reminded multiple times this past week that 30 yr olds are DRAMA QUEENS. You think this is something we grow out of. After Sally harrassed your 12 yr old ass in the middle school bathroom--splashing water all over you until it looked like you were unable to control your bladder. After Sue Ann who, at 17, started sending your crush vulgar text messages until he boned her in the locker room. You think by 30 Sally and Sue Ann would have grown up. Or, you know, be dead. But I digress...perhaps the over 30 crowd greets any sense of optimism or hope that 20-somethings have as a sign of weakness. ignorance. stupidity. Perhaps they enjoy telling us how naiive we are to believe in G-d, love, happiness, ponies, rainbows, snuggles, vodka, PBR, TiVo. There was a time when I would have reacted with anger at such obvious snide-ness. But, I am too old. Or perhaps too young. For that kind of bullshit in my life.

It is now 2010. I went into the new year in an above average excellent manner. Mostly, this is because last year was below average. In baditude. I was with my besty. We did NOT get wastey. We danced and sang while watching a giant pineapple drop from the sky (oh, Florida!) and completely embarrassed her younger cousins and brother. We were soccer moms. And it was awesersome.

I made a few resolutions:
1) Buy Rosetta Stone (I heart student loans!) and finally get fluent on Hebrew.
2) Fall out of obsessive love with my crush of the past 3 years. (This one has been the most difficult).
3) JOIN J-DATE. (WHICH I HAVE DONE, AND WILL BE FOLLOWING CLOSELY ON THIS BLOG). HOWEVER, I AM THUS FAR INCAPABLE OF CORRECTLY POSTING PICS AND THEREFORE AM HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS OF THE ONE DUDE WHO TRIED TO CHAT ME.
4) Go out on a date.
5) Get a job.
6) Learn more.
7) Stop letting toxic people bring me downnnnnnnnnnn. (like the economy!) This one's difficult only inasmuch as people being mean to me or those I love makes me want to cutabitch.
8) Accomplish greatness
9) Make my crush fall madly in love with me!
10) Stop wishing for number 9.

ALSO, I PROMISE TO START WRITING AT LEAST 4 TIMES A WEEK NOW THAT I'VE RETURNED.

Also, both my cuz and uncle hijacked my laptop in order to fix it the last few days and it reminds me of this criminal minds episode where this guy has multiple personalities and one is a computer dude IT expert who hacks into computers to fix them and the other personality is his evil dad and the other one is the archangel gabriel, and gabriel watches the peeps through their computers and when they sin...he goes to their houses and KILLS THEM.

I shared this with Kendall, the 3rd Rosetta Stone techie I talked to (technology hates meeeeeeeee) and he laughed. Basically, we had a moment. And it was grand. And it was kinda awk too, b/c i asked if I could ask for him if I needed to call back and he said there were too many people that worked there, and there was this really awk pause where I thought he might ask for my number. and he didn't. and it was awk.

THE END!