G-d made pets so there'd be less whores.

So, I am anxiously awaiting a reply from one-who-i-must-stop-crushing-on, and i feel like a lohooser for not getting a response yet. Instead of being evolved and not caring I mutter things over my breath like, "I hate D for not responding. HATE HATE HATE. I want to write another message explaining my HATRED." But then I realize the emotion I'm feeling is love and not hate and I sigh and get saddened and go on JDATE!

Things I've accomplished thus far on J-Date:
1) Chatted with a 33 yr old man named Jayson. Pros: employed! Name is not Adam or Steve (the taboo names!) Funnyish. Able to carry on a conversation. Gave me his contact info. CON: Actually wants to meet me in person (yikes!), used the word, "pussy," and began the conversation attempting to make me his 20 yr old midnight booty call. So here's the legit prob with in person meetings, what if I look cuter in pics than real life? I don't want to disappoint the horny, "fertile" (his word, not mine) 33 yr old bloke. In one pic I was make-upped by a friend (I don't even own make-up), and in another I just happened to look cute, FLUKE. FATE. FATED FLUKE. OM TO THE G.

2) Phoenix(random numbers). Pros: looks cutish in the pic I saw. Artist. Painter. 27. CONS: kept pressuring me to get skype. (I'm extremely socially awk with regards to chatting while looking while being in different rooms. It's weird! And my ex-roomie did it ALL the time freshman year with her boo, and I always felt like I was the awk 3rd person in the room. Except there were only 2 peeps in the room. And boy wonder was NOT one of them. And at the end of every convo she would say, "Silly, silly, that's youuuuuuuuu!" In a high pitched voice, and ever since then I've felt awfully uncomfortable with skype. Also, his name is STEVE. See above. A name which, for many reasons, is taboo in my life!

Tonight for dinner I ate edamame, cheerios, and diet pepsi. Aka, I am an awesome hipster. An awesome hipster who's massively in unreciprocated love, taking cognitive neuroscience (wtf?!?), and applying for temp jobs. Basically: awesome hipster incarnate.

p.s. I made an ass out of myself and in the process found myself surrounded by about 10 NYU security guards. It was a roughrough afternoon.

p.p.s I have a starbucks mug!