At the moment. I am sitting on the couch. Eating cheerios. Watching Dr. Phil. I can do this. Because I am the ONLY ONE HOME. This may end at any moment, and I will be the saddest lady who has ever lived. But until then...
1) Worry not, dear friends, I'm still doing the j-dating shiz! I chatted with this dude, Charmer, and when I had to go and he asked if we'd ever speak again I felt bad, so I gave out my email address, and now he emailed me, and now I feel compelled to respond. But I am too frightened to meet people in personage, so my response would be "hey." And then he'd be all "hey, whut up?" I'd be all "nothing"...he'd be all, "wanna hang out...?" and because i feel bad i might be compelled to say yes and be subsequently raped/murdered.
I have now been "viewed" by 99 peeps. "Hotlisted" by 5. And IM'ed by 9. Basically, I am a HOT PIECE OF ASS.
I ALSO HAVE "HOTLISTED" ONE LOVER OF MY OWN. I AM A STUD.
2) My phone has been dialing while in my pants. The other day my phone dialed. While in my pants. While going to the bathroom. It was a very private moment. And I only noticed it was calling when I heard the voice mail lady echoing in the stall.
3) My crush-extraordinaire is still MIA. I am trying to be "aloof." But in that dark abyss of my chest where a heart should reside I just keep screaming..."LOVE ME YOU FOOL. LOVE ME!" It's very dramatic. Like Grey's Anatomy. On acid.
4) I saw "As you Like it" last night at the BAM. (Is it THE BAM? or BAM? I'm not pretentious enough to know these things)...and reminisced about freshman year of high school when I played Audrey (the slutty one). I also made a semi-friend in my class. Because we talked for more than 3 minutes. I don't smoke like she does, so she probs thinks that's a little uncool. Maybe I should start. Then I got lost in Brooklyn trying to find my subway back. It was cold. I finally found a 2/3 station. I do not take the 2. or the 3. So, I asked an attractive make-upped girl (she must be from manhattan!) if she knew any of the stops...and she's all..."yea..." "where are you going?" And i'm all..."the f" and she's all..."did you know there's an f train stop around the corner?" No dear readers, i did NOT know this. I did NOT know if my fingers were still attached to my hands either because they were too cold. I DID know that she thought i was dumb. Not like the creeper on the subway platform who told me repeatedly that i was a "good girl."
5) I WANT TO BE MY COG NEURO PROF. SHE IS AWESOME, HELLS YEA KINDA AWESOME. I WANT TO BEBEBE HER. TRUTHSKIES.
6) I failed a powerpoint test at my temp agency. certainly not an all time low, but...
7) And p to the s...IT'S 9 DEGREES WITH WINDCHILL! HELL TO THE NO!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment